The Absence of Light
by kyespinozaa
Summary: This is the story of an angel who fell with Lucifer.


· • † • ·

In the Beginning, I was alone. Then, I imagined something different: life. However, the existence that I had always known was overwhelming to this new concept of _life_. So I created **_light_** to guide _life_ in my existence, for _life_ could not flourish in a state it could never comprehend. However, with **_light_** came **darkness**. **Darkness** is not something I created. It is the absence of**_ light_**, a small word to describe _life_ without **_light_**. _Life_ without **_light_** is blind, cruel, and dismal. Without **_light_**, there is no way to comprehend existence. _Life_ without **_light_** is destructive, messy, and wrong. _Life_ without **_light_** is death.

In this new space of creation, I made two spheres: the Earth and the Heavens. I created the Earth to slowly develop into a place where I could place souls, but the Heavens were designed to immediately hold life. I imagined each and every Angel and Archangel, and I gave each and every one free will. In that state of free will, beings have the choice between keeping _life_ and descending to death. When I first conceive a being, I can see every decision it will make, every thought it will have, every emotion it will feel. When I created Michael, I knew from the beginning he would remain loyal and loving to Me. When I first created Delilah, I knew the sorrow she would bring to me. When I created Lucifer, I knew the wickedness that he would become, and the many beings he would convince to fall with him. Delilah was one of them.

A young Angel sat perched on the edge of the heavens, where you can see out into the Earthen sphere. She had bright hair and serious eyes. Her features were sharp and attentive, common among older souls, but shocking in such a youthful angel. Her name was Delilah. She sat with her chin on her knees, scrutinizing the mysterious sphere of material things. She was puzzled by how the different mounds of what Father had told her was called "matter" seemed to be bound to each other. They kept circling around each other in the dark space as if they wanted to get away from each other, but could not. She knew that the Earth sphere was not ready to hold life, but she did not know why. Delilah became extremely frustrated when she did not know why. When she was frustrated, she had this pensive and frightening look on her face. Archangel Gabriel called it the Lilah face. Delilah was frustrated often. She continuously asked Father questions. It was rare for Him to fully answer them. It was more likely for Him to tell her she was not yet ready to understand the answer; this was frustrating to her. She did not like waiting to find out the answer. Delilah would ask the question again later, when she thought that maybe Father had forgotten that she asked, but Father would just smile at her with a sadness in His eyes and tell her that she would learn the answer to her question in time. He often told her that pondering about the answer and feeling frustrated about it made the answer that much more intriguing. Delilah was not sure if that was the case. She felt that it was better to satisfy that burning curiosity as soon as possible than be tormented by it. She wished Father would just give her all the answers when she asked.

Delilah felt the area around her emanating a dangerously loving aura. The ground she was sitting on even seemed to glow with affection.

"Delilah, you were late to meet me for our walk."

"I'm sorry Father, I was just wondering why the mounds, I mean palenets seem to be stuck to each other when it seems that they want to move apart from each other."

"Planets, they are called planets," God corrected with an encouraging smile, sitting down next to her. "Intriguing isn't it?" He continued looking out over the changing worlds. "Why do you think they are stuck together?"

"I cannot think of why, that is why I asked You," Delilah responded.

"Well, to invoke self-cultivated thought, I will leave you to ponder that for yourself a while."

"Abba, please. I feel as if I do not know the answer now; I will be driven to insanity!"

"And that, My child, is why you must learn to think for yourself. Answers should not always be given. They are much more valued when you arrive upon the solutions yourself."

God looked down upon Delilah with sorrowful eyes, hoping she might understand, though He knew she would not. Delilah looked out over the vast earthen sphere and sighed.

"May I be left alone to think then?" she asked, not looking at God.

"Of course, My dear, but do not use this time to feel remorseful for yourself. Delilah, self-pity is not a good habit to develop. Let me know when you are ready for our walk." God left, knowing that she did not listen to His warning.

Delilah was frustrated. She did not like when God gave her vague answers that never satisfied her questions. She knew what would happen. She would think for ages, pondering all the possible reasons why, spending ages in the libraries reading God's words, and still she would never come close to the answer. Finally, she would give up, knowing that none of her answers would be close. It was then that God would encourage her to spend a little bit longer in the libraries, and she would stumble upon something that explained the phenomenon. She would feel an immense satisfaction at having the answer, and race out to where the phenomenon was occurring only to discover another mystery. Then she would burn with the desire to understand the new incident. She did not understand why God could not just tell her all the answers when she asked them. Why couldn't He answer her pleas immediately? It seemed that He never truly answered her. She felt like she deserved those answers.

A conversation she had with Archangel Lucifer once trickled its way back into her mind. His words haunted her: "It is because God does not know everything". She had been horrified and ran away from Lucifer, but his words kept coming back. Running circles inside her head.

Just then, she heard his hypnotic voice: "Hello lovely angel, fancy seeing you here," Lucifer purred with a stunning smile. "Pondering about the Universe again?" He asked. "I do believe you must have all the answers now."

"Lucifer!" Delilah whispered in shock. "You cannot say things like that." She could not believe he had just suggested that she knew as much as God.

She was still recovering from the shock when he said, "I am just saying, that if _I_ had a burning question that I could not solve, I would bring it to you. I have no doubts that you would find an answer." He spun away and said one last damning thing: "_And,_ I bet that _you_ would actually give me an answer." Lucifer left with a smile that would shrivel the ambitions of men.

Delilah was in a state of turmoil. For the first time in her existence, Delilah wondered: _What if he is right?_

God looked upon the scene with grief. Delilah had started to fade. He knew His moments with her were dwindling. Soon, she would fall.

Lucifer was strolling along the edge of the Heavens, when the Archangel Michael was suddenly in his way.

"Hello, my fellow Archangel." Lucifer smiled shading his eyes as he looked at Michael. "Do you need my help with something?"

"No," Michael said. "I am here to tell you that Father is coming to see you. You have missed your past three meetings with Him; He is worried about you.

"I have been busy," Lucifer said, "He understands, He always understands."

"What could you have been doing that makes you too busy for Father?" Michael said, concerned.

"That is for me to know, and you to find out," Lucifer replied with a wink and a grin.

"Just be careful Lucifer, nothing should take precedence over the Lord, He has done nothing but love you and protect you. I beg you, remember that." As Michael looked upon Lucifer, he was filled with concern. He had placed his hand on Lucifer's arm. Lucifer shrugged him off and walked away, leaving Michael overcome with the feeling that moments with his fellow Archangel were limited and meaningless to Lucifer.

Lucifer had walked a distance away from Michael when he muttered, "That is exactly all He does. Nothing but loves us. And apparently He needs an introduction before He can talk to anyone."

Suddenly a blinding light appeared behind Lucifer. Lucifer collapsed down and covered his eyes. The light seemed to pierce through his hands and penetrate into his eyes.

"Lucifer, why have you neglected Our meetings?"

Lucifer rose, keeping his back to the scorching light.

"It must have slipped my mind. You will forgive me, won't You." There was bitterness in Lucifer's voice that had not materialized outside his mind before now.

"Why do you ask if you seem to already have the answer? Forgiveness requires strength and love, Lucifer. It is not an easy thing to forgive; it is much easier to blame," God said softly, but His voice prickled with warning as he breathed, "Holding onto grudges is a dark thing." He paused, taking a step towards Lucifer. "Lucifer, there is a darkness around you; there is nothing good about darkness. You will never be able to see clearly in darkness."

"I know what darkness is. I do not fear darkness like You do," Lucifer spat.

God looked at Lucifer quietly with pain in His eyes. Then He replied, "I see there is nothing I can say to change your mind," He knew that Lucifer's Fall had already commenced, and He felt the sorrow of the very first father whose son loathed him with ravaging hate and callous envy.

After God had left, Lucifer looked down upon his hands. They were charred. The tips of his fingers were blackened, and the smell of something that had never been known in the ages of Heaven surrounded Lucifer. It was the smell of a rancid and burnt substance. The smell seemed to curl around Lucifer and reach out in tendrils to poison surrounding life.

Delilah sat on a swing, between the towering marble-like columns of the library, with a heavy book in her lap. Her eyes were closed and her brow was scrunched up with concentration.

"Hello lovely angel." She heard a dark, honey-like voice drip from behind her. She opened her eyes slowly.

"Hello Lucifer." She looked down at the open book in her lap. "What do you want?"

Lucifer came closer and uttered softly in her ear, "What if I told you that there was a tree that could give you _all_ the answers your heart desired?" Delilah became deathly still. "_And_," Lucifer continued, "What if I told you I know where it is?"

"There is no such tree," Delilah said, breaking out the dream that she could obtain an answer to any question her heart dreamed.

"But there is," Lucifer breathed. "It is a tree that God keeps locked up only for Himself. It is a shame really, that He could keep such knowledge locked away. I mean, if He is supposed to be always _so_ generous, then why would he keep such a treasure for only himself?"

"What stories you taunt me with!" Delilah hissed. "How cruel can you be to dangle such a tale before me knowing it would only torment me? It is unheavenly! It is straight out cruel!"

Lucifer gasped, "Why would I make up a story that I know is so close to your heart? Do you really imagine me that despicable?"

Delilah looked down in shame. She did not know what had come over her. All of the sudden, she had burned with fury and desire to cut him with her words. "Lucifer, I did not mean to speak so harshly with you. Forgive me, I—I have no idea what came over me. Please excuse me," Delilah stumbled, and ran away whispering to herself.

"Abba?!" Delilah gasped. "Father!"

"Yes Delilah?" God asked, looking quickly at her unruly hair and ruffled wings, he continued, "What happened?"

"I flew all the way here from the Libraries," She answered. "I must know," she continued, "Is there a tree that will supply answers to any question I could ever dream of?"

"You have spoken with Lucifer, haven't you." God said, turning to look out the large window behind Him.

Delilah started pacing back and forth. "Yes, and he told me of this tree, and I couldn't believe him, but I knew that he cannot tell anything but truth, so I assumed he was telling a story of some sort, but then I was not sure because he was speaking as if it was truth and not fiction and I was so frustrated because the thought that there could be such a tree was spinning inside my head, but then there could not be such a tree because why would You not tell me about such a tree and all these questions started bursting in my mind and I just _had _to know." Delilah fell to her knees next to God. "Abba," she pleaded, "is there such a tree that would solve all my frustration and give me all the answers I would die to know?"

"Child," God said, kneeling down with her and taking her hands in His. "There is such a tree, but you shall never eat of its fruit because it is not knowledge that makes you intelligent and satisfied, but the pursuit of knowledge that is truly valuable."

Delilah looked up at God and withdrew her hands. She stood up, hugging herself and looked out the window. "So Lucifer was right."

"No, Delilah. Lucifer was wrong. You would know how and why, but you would never understand. You could not deal with that knowledge, Delilah. It would ruin you. It is not possible for you to know all and still remain sane. That is why I did not tell you of the Tree of Infinite Knowledge, I wanted to keep the torment of that from your life as long as possible. It was a cruel thing for Lucifer to tell you of this tree, knowing you could never eat from it."

"Why?" Delilah whimpered. "Why will you not let me? How can you know if I will lose my sanity?! That is for me to decide! You cannot know what it will do to me! You do not know me!" Delilah screamed.

"My dear child," God said soothingly. "I know you. I made you. I am your Creator and your Father. I know you better than you know yourself. Please, understand."

"You do not know me anymore," Delilah spat bitterly and ran out.

"I was right wasn't I lovely angel?"

Delilah was curled up against a glowing tree in the forest, with tears pouring down a caustic face. She glared at Lucifer.

"Hey, I am not your enemy here love. I simply told you a truth I thought you deserved to know."

"You told me it, knowing I could never have it," Delilah hissed.

"Why couldn't you?" Lucifer smiled diabolically.

Delilah looked at him as if he were thick skulled, "Because God told me I couldn't. He won't let me."

"And what if He was not there to tell you no?"

Delilah looked at Lucifer horrified. "How can you even say that?!"

"I am only saying: perhaps He isn't the being we thought He was. What if He isn't All-Powerful and All-Mighty like He makes Himself out to be? I mean, He is keeping the one thing that would make us all like Him to Himself. I think He is afraid of us. He knows we are a challenge to His power." Lucifer stood up and looked at Delilah. She thought she could see a fire that burned of darkness in his eyes, but she was not scared anymore. She was intrigued. Lucifer smiled in a way that would have shriveled any mortal object in the Earthen Sphere. "Think about it angel," Lucifer said, and strode away seeming to leave ashes in his footsteps behind.

God saw the scene from His window. He sat down with grief in His large chair, the same chair in which He had read Delilah countless books when she was a new angel. He remembered she was fascinated by how words that were spoken could appear the same on a page. He looked upon that ancient scene with sadness. She was not the same being anymore; she had begun to fall. He could not see her very well anymore. Her features were darkening. Her once bright and gleaming wings were now shadowy and corrupted. The Fall was drawing nearer, soon heartbreak would sweep throughout the Heavens as thousands of beings fell from grace.

Delilah came to Lucifer. "I want the tree of Infinite Knowledge. If I join you, you will give me what I desire." Lucifer nodded with demonic eyes.

Delilah smiled, "So we are agreed?" Lucifer nodded again.

"Welcome to the Revolution."

Lucifer stood upon a hill in shadow. His wings were unfurled to their magnificent and most powerful effect. They seemed to emit smoke that smelt of destruction and malice. Lucifer gazed across the vast glowing Heavens, eyes glinting and pupils contracted to the size of dust. Once, the Heavens had radiated with an unblemished light, but now the Heavens were tarnished with the shadows of falling angels. Lucifer did not see this; instead, he deceived himself and saw the luster of a kingdom he was winning over soul by soul. He saw a prize he thought he was close to holding in his hand. _Soon, _he thought. _Soon, Heaven will be perfected and purged of all weaknesses. Soon, I will reign in His place._

Michael looked upon Lucifer from far behind. He could not recognize Lucifer. In fact, he could not see Lucifer clearly anymore. Lucifer was a dim outline of the Archangel that Michael had once known. He looked to be made of a substance that did not seem possible of existing in Heaven.

God looked out His window. He could clearly see the ground around Lucifer, but not Lucifer himself. God knew where Lucifer was, but He would not see him. God knew exactly what Lucifer was doing and thinking, but could not look upon him anymore. The Fall had begun.

Lucifer felt his fingers start to tingle. He looked at his hands and ran his thumb across his fingertips. It was a strange feeling. He was not sure what was happening to him. Suddenly, his body ignited in excruciating anguish.

Delilah was in the library. She was walking among the towers of books, pondering which one to open. Suddenly, her hands started to burn with white, hot heat. She gasped and looked down at them in horror. They were on fire with flames that burned her eyes. She could not look at the flames without feeling the heat scorch her very soul. She collapsed and screamed in agony.

Delilah was suddenly in a large open courtyard. Tall, glistening trees surrounded it as an impenetrable wall. Thousands of other angels surrounded her, burning in the ethereal fire. She looked to her right and saw Father with His left side towards her. On the other side of Him, she saw Archangel Michael, Archangel Gabriel, and hundreds of thousands of others. They all shone with a blinding light that brought streams of tears to her eyes. Father turned His head and looked at her. His deadly eyes were full of anger and sorrow. She could not imagine anything more fearsome than the wrath of the Heavenly Father. Her agonized body seized up in fear and her eyes became paralyzed upon Him. Fear ripped through her body and wings, burning worse than the white, hot fire. "G- , G-!" She choked, trying to cry out His name. _You cannot speak a Heavenly name upon cursed lips, child. There is nothing I can do for you, you have damned yourself. _

God looked at Michael. Michael knew what to do. He strode over to a large lump of black aflame with blinding fire. He looked down at the heap of darkness curled up upon the white marble ground. He mournfully raised a massive celestial sword blazing with heavenly fire, blessed by God the Father, and plunged it into Lucifer. The rest of the Archangels flew up and descended upon the falling angels with their blessed blades, and a flood of heavenly fire rose up, consuming and eradicating all that was unholy.

Delilah looked around her. There were black, venomous flames everywhere. The dark fire ate away at everything; nothing could avoid the ravaging darkness. She raised her burning head from the ground and felt excruciating pain, to move anything was to feel as if her body was ripping itself apart. She looked at Lucifer with eyes capable of disintegrating diamonds. "You brought this upon us!" She screamed. She dug her fingers into the solid fire she was collapsed upon. With a hiss more loathing than the fallen Lord himself could have conjured, she seethed, "I hate you." At that exact moment, she lost all light. God could not see her anymore.

I walk with Michael. His grief is great; it multiplies My own. It pains Me to see My children in pain.

"Father," he asks. "Why? Why did they have to turn on You? Why did You not change their hearts? Why did You not change their will?" Michael kneeled down and put his face in his hands.

"It is a sorrowful thing to have so many children damn themselves," God replied, kneeling beside Michael. "But I could never force their will. I love them, I love all that I create, and real love cannot exist where will is forced."

"Where have they gone?"

"They have died. Their souls will continue in a sphere where there is no light. They have condemned themselves to a place of eternal darkness and torment. They cannot exist in Heaven, and so they have cast themselves into a place that is the absence of all things holy and good."

"Father, is it possible for them to repent? Is it possible for them to come Home?"

"No, Michael, it is not. They have become something sinful and unholy. I cannot look upon them as they are now made of darkness, and they cannot look upon me without destruction. Sinful beings cannot look upon a holy being without tenfold the torture the Fallen experience now. They can never return home."

**The End**


End file.
